Effin Obnoxious...

You know what I find insufferable?... photographers' blogs.  Does anyone really care about a shooter's "big shoot in Hong Kong", for a "world renown, international client?"... or the time he/she was "surrounded by poisonous snakes in Bangladesh... thank God we were rescued by Richard Branson in his private jet! (and I got to sit next to Angelina Jolie)"

I just threw-up in my mouth a little.

Who is impressed with this drivel?  These anecdotes don't make you a better photographer... the "glamorous" back-story to the image doesn't make a shitty shot any prettier.  Maybe I'm an asshole (OK, I'm definitely an asshole), but does anyone give a shit about a photographer's breakfast meeting with the Pope, private helicopter lessons or his 4,000 square foot vacation home on Lake Cuomo?  It's bragging... and for me, it goes down as smooth as the AIG bonus package.

Look... virtually every photographer on the planet is a working stiff (or, maybe misery really does enjoy company and I'm projecting).  I, for one, spend more time looking for work... and worrying about not having any work, than I do actually working.  This is not by choice, it's just working out that way.  I have a wife and kids (who hemorrhage money), a mortgage, insurance, car payments, dental bills, college tuition... etc.  I'm GI Joe Average... complete with detachable ego and check-book grip.

For those of you impressed with the perception of photographers as "rock stars"... here's a shot of me flying home on the private corporate jet of one of my clients.  The truth being that it would have flown whether or not I was on it... my XL ass occupying a seat saved the client the expense of a return coach ticket (and a $3.00 SmartCart rental at MIA).

My reality is more "pedestrian".  Below you will see photos of my transportation to a remote shoot I did last summer... as well as my accommodations.  The "aircraft", while appearing slick and burnished on the exterior, was held together with faux-wood paneling, sheetrock screws and duct tape on the inside.  Our septuagenarian pilot, coverall clad and smelling of goats, informed us he'd just completed an engine swap and was anxious to "try her out".  His hands were still covered in grease.  Obviously, as I am currently writing this, we landed safely on a lake near the location and were transported via the client's 1982 Jeep Cherokee to our accommodations... effectively, The Bates Motel.  

Is anyone jealous yet?

 

 

Good Ideas, Bad Ideas and the Economy...

OK... to be honest, the images below are just a loosely related vehicle to get you to read the following excerpt a friend and colleague forwarded to me. The images are meant to illustrate "Good Ideas vs Bad Ideas"...in this case, good and bad ideas about dealing with current economic news. Kevin, a close friend and the subject in these photos, will admit to having lots of both (good and bad ideas, that is... although given the photographic proof, he'd be hard pressed to deny it, wouldn't he?).

The original article was printed in New York magazine and titled "Pessimism Porn". The excerpt below was written by Gordon Kaye, commenting on the aforementioned article, and published in Graphic Design USA. I think the advertising/photography industry would be wise to follow Gordon's advise.

"New York Magazine recently published a brilliant article called "Pessimism Porn", capturing the growing national obsession with surfing the net, lusting after bad economic news. Everyone has their favorite source to satisfy the not-so-secret desire to ogle market volatility, mass layoffs, salary cuts, home foreclosures, plant closings, tax cheats, Ponzi schemes, celebrity bankruptcies, and the like. It hurts so good, and I am as addicted as anyone. In recent days, though, a nagging doubt arises: Could it be that pessimism porn is not merely a guilty pleasure, but an affirmative cause of economic pain? Remember, this is the first recession played out in a totally plugged in, completely connected, 24/7 new cycle age, and the flood of information is as unprecedented as it is overwhelming. Before writing this idea off as crazy talk, consider that our collective fetish for finding and spreading negative news accelerates panic and uncertainty, undermines confidence and blunts action. It is not a healthy pattern for self or society, and I want out. So here is my plan: Avoid business news as much as possible. Resist the temptation to gossip (even if yet another Cabinet member turns out to owe back taxes). Take cold showers as needed. Find at least one bit of good economic news every day and share it with a friend, colleague or loved one."

Amen to that!... OK, so here's some good economic news... the "Beer of the Month Club" has at least one new subscriber. So all of you potential clients saving your "photo dollars" for a rainy day... open up those wallets... we can celebrate a successful shoot afterwards with some cold beer.